Boosh Rabbit

Elements of Past & Future Combined Into Something Not Quite as Good as Either

Patrick Farley's Online Journal

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I have no new content, yet I must scream
Boosh Rabbit
Premises are cheap; good storytelling difficult. In the spirit of starting the year with a clean slate, I offer up my 2009 List of Story Premises to the creative commons. These are all stories I would love to see produced in some format or other, but will probably never get around to. If YOU can do something with any of them — a book (graphic or otherwise), a movie, a game, a song— by all means take the idea and run with it. And if it makes you rich, please consider buying me a meal at your favorite restaurant.

Patrick Farley's List of Story Premises 2009

Free for Creative Commons use

  • Fake TV News Channel is created, catering to Conservative demographic. Similar to Fox News except the "news stories" presented are 100% fictitious: for example, after Kansas bans the teaching of evolution, there are giant fruits and vegetables growing on the farms, and cows are growing to the size of elephants. ("This bounty is clearly God's reward to the Great State of Kansas!") Much like "Wag the Dog," the question is how far this swindle can be taken before it collapses -- or will it ever?

  • Al Qaeda terrorist infiltrates rave community for purposes of staging a massive suicide bombing during a dance party event; romantic/spiritual entanglement ensues.

  • Judgement Day: Four souls whisper their life stories to each other while waiting to be Judged.

  • War between Christian Heaven and Muslim Heaven.

  • Giant mantis-like insect becomes future pop music star. Geriatric grunge rocker attempts to kill it.

  • Rogue AI in the financial data network bestows unlimited credit on random individuals.

  • Cthulhu mythos setting: after Rlyeh has risen, human survivors struggle to survive against alien horrors and their own despair. (Much like Camus' "The Plague" only with tentacles.)

  • "Bonsai Baby;" a human embryo, genetically altered so the baby never matures past the toddler stage. They are illegal, but an elderly biotech scientist secretly creates one for himself in an unmonitored lab. The Baby escapes the lab, and the Company's property is adjacent to a community of right-wing Christian Fundamentalists. One more hedgehog: slavery is legal in this future, so the Company offers one of its indentured laborers the chance to buy his/her freedom in exchange for tracking down and returning the escaped Bonsai Baby. Bad craziness ensues.

  • Magic Plush Van transports passengers to Prog Rock Fantasy Realm.

  • Cryogenically preserved heads are unfrozen in the far future, attached to robot-crab bodies and left to scuttle around like vermin in the Glorious Cities of Tomorrow.

  • Right wing talk show host gets "turned on" and changes his world view. (Inciting incident: a teenage caller commits suicide on the air.)

  • 9-11 jumper is rescued by a mysterious entity before hitting the ground. (Time stops, much like in The Hudsucker Proxy.) He is paired with a woman from the future, who is herself the survivor of a future European holocaust against Muslims.

  • Middle aged guy travels back in time to middle school in the 1980s, salvages his disastrous first "romance."

  • Clans of Alphane Moon, except the planet is divided into fetish communities (rubberists, plushies, foot fetishists, etc.)

  • Teenage gaming nerd is transported to fantasy realm, decides the Fair Folk are fascists and sides with the Orcs. (Alternate: a modern African American youth is transported to a Tolkienesque Euro-Fantasy realm, confronts the inherent racism of the genre.)

  • Dominatrix runs for President of the U.S.A.

  • Giant carnivorous armadillos rampage across Southwest U.S.A. -- mankind pays for his irresponsible use of pesticides!!!

  • "Think Tank Troopers:" The year is 2004, and a 23-year old "graduate" of a Conservative think-tank is given an administrative post in Baghdad's Green Zone, where he intends to open a Starbucks once the country has been pacified. (Neo-Con ideology collides with grim realities on the ground. Hilarity ensues.)

  • Domestic or farm/food animals suddenly gifted with sentience.

  • Racoons build space arks and/or technology for battling humanity.

  • ISIS: superhero from the 1970s Saturday morning show, given the Alan Moore-style reboot. (Given her unique powers, she can surely do more than fly around the California suburbs dispensing advice to confused teens.)

  • H.P. Lovecraft and Philip K. Dick join forces to fight crime. HPL becomes a little less racist, PKD a little less misogynist.

  • AGAINST THE GIANTS set in the modern day. Who would be the "giants?" Who would be the "Drow?"

  • Doctor fighting cancer enters a fantasy realm where the cancer is reified as an agent of evil. (Similar formula to Thomas Covenant / leprosy metaphor, but specifically about cancer.)

  • Reincarnation: Modern American (upper middle class) is reincarnated as a deformed Third World child in a Greenhouse Disaster future world.

  • Future Earth: Several million years hence, humanity has disappeared, or humanity's descendents are small, lemurlike creatures or bison-like quadrupeds. (see Stephen Baxter's Evolution.) The dominant species on Earth are evolved from rats, octopi, and penguins (the only species which prospered after whatever disaster knocked off homo sapiens.) The rats are pre-industrial and already fighting bloody wars against themselves; the penguins are a hive mind; the octopi elusive and mysterious but just now beginning to venture onto land.

  • Take any "classic" story (Romeo & Juliet, Casablanca, Pulp Fiction) and re-stage it in a post-Greenhouse "Drowned World." The fun is in seeing how many conventional narrative tropes break down and how many new ones emerge.

  • Life in the Soup: a coming-of-age story set in a half-submerged San Francisco (or any other coastal city.)

Compiled 01 January 2010 by Patrick Sean Farley (

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Like the Prog Rock land one

That's what I kinda wished for, after seeing "Brutal Legend", a variety for those a little older who still remember (at least from Parents) the 60s ideals. Computer tech simply wasn't good enough to make a "Prog Rock Fantasy World" when you could have guaranteed to a big company it was worth risking millions to make. Maybe there'll be a turnaround this decade though, and I don't just mean for marketability of escapist fiction...

I think, btw, about a Radio Talk show host getting "Turned Around", like what if Michael Savage got slipped LSD in one of his sandwiches? Forget politics, the way he viciously turns on a restaurant if some clerk gives him bad service one day could inspire it. Not ascribing it magical properties, except that Hallucinogens can bring stuff the mind suppresses to the consciousness. But the problem is, they are just ("One Man's Opinion") sock puppets for the rich elite, propagandists... So if he started saying "My friends, I've been wrong about..." he wouldn't even get that far and he'd be tossed off the air. But then again, maybe that itself is a story, like the bad guy that turns good, but then still suffers for his crimes or is victimized by other bad guys...?

IMHO, you kind of did "Dominatrix runs for President of USA" in "Mother of all Bombs", what there was of it, and I loved it! Ditto for gen modified livestock becoming intelligent with "Thanksgiving Special". Not that either element isn't quite re-usable.

You'd have problems using "Isis" directly, due to it being re-done in a comic book that while very well illustrated I had trouble reading. But you could do a similar figure (?Ishtar?) for parody, but I don't know what the story would do.

This was a nice post, and good to read stuff from you again.

BTW-I LOVE "Dicebox" most notably your work on it:-)

I'm kind of in a "Start Fresh" mode myself, though that involves working together some things I've been working on, but I have ditched/put aside ideas no longer relevant and stuff. I've just made a new-year's resolution to schedule my time better and plan out what/when to do. I have a personal system that turned me from a near-dropout to an "A" student in College, just fell out of using it halfway through the 00s.

One thing I'm going to use, but I WANT this "Open-Source" is to really quick do something for the 2012 meme. (dodges "Boos", "New Age Tofu Freak!" and fruit thrown) I mean it in terms of 2012 being a time for positive change, but if man works on it. So many things, real and mystical converging then, it can be a time of positive upswing or it can be the onset of a long period of despair and oppression. Way I see it, we can project it as the "Age of Aquarius" truly beginning... BTW-One good thing about '09, it technically began then, at least according to that old song, on Valentines Day. I'm doing a music album, but if I get on a creative roll and manage my time better will make some stories for it too.

Re: Like the Prog Rock land one

Dosing Limbaugh would be an easy plot point to pull off. Just have his drug dealer accidentally mix up his oxycontin with oxytocin.

Re: Like the Prog Rock land one

Or, just send him some pills in the mail!

Years ago there was a campaign to send him unused prescription pills. Lots of people get the "Controlled" ones for a while that they maybe take one or two when they really hurt, and don't like 'em cause they are so powerful they really make 'em feel sick, so the bottle sits on the shelf for a few years then gets trashed. So it was a charity to send him pills, removing of course the original person's name from the labels, so Limbaugh doesn't "Feed the Mafia" with his money. It even appeals to "Leftists" like a relative of mine with a back injury who can sympathize with the pain he's going through, that if he's in less pain he'll possibly be nicer if not saner.

Rush Limbaugh is a strong Opiate addict, so every pill is precious gold to him. Someone could 'dose' a few pills in the middle of a bottle of them and he'd at worst have the first pill tested, then it'd be down the hatch with the rest.

But, IMO, Savage would be the funnier one. And he'd bring it on himself. Things are too tight these days, and A-hole customers can get someone fired by a panicky/domineering/kiss up manager. So if he comes in like a Hitler and the poor waitress knows he's going to give her hell no matter how polite, she might dope his sandwich.

Ever watch "Young Sherlock Holmes"?

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